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rjgleason
June 20th, 2006, 03:54 PM
Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to
its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply
alternate meanings for common words.

The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly
answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run
over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by
proctologists

13. Pokemon (n), a Jamaican proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with
Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief
that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck
there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxershorts worn by
Jewish men.

jliechty
June 20th, 2006, 07:48 PM
Excellent! I was definitely LMAO while reading most of that list. Thanks for posting. :D

987Image
June 20th, 2006, 08:33 PM
I am Flabbergasted and determined not to Abdicate however the Balderdash does make me somewhat Rectitude. I hope at my age I am not becoming willy-nilly otherwise i'd be forced to be popping those pills. I hope this all doesn't make me an Oyster.

rjgleason
June 20th, 2006, 10:11 PM
I am Flabbergasted and determined not to Abdicate however the Balderdash does make me somewhat Rectitude. I hope at my age I am not becoming willy-nilly otherwise i'd be forced to be popping those pills. I hope this all doesn't make me an Oyster.

Think young thoughts.......it helps.